There were times in my journey through depression that I felt resentment–towards God, towards mental illness, towards anyone that thought I could do something about it.
And then something shifted and I decided to drop the “victim” mentality and do something to move forward. I remember one day in particular when I was at the store. I was not in a happy place. I felt dark. I felt alone. I was mad. I remember how the cashier was friendly but I didn’t return it. Instead I briefly interacted and went on my way. It was months later when I began to pull out of the resentment that I realized something had shifted–I was different, I was showing up differently, and my interactions with store clerks were a lot more positive. That’s when I knew I was making progress!
My husband and I watched a powerful movie a couple of days ago. Breathe is the true story of the Cavendish couple from Britain who change the tide of how disabled and paralyzed people are treated and cared for. From his obituary: “He had a natural graciousness: his lack of evident resentment at his own condition made helping him a positive pleasure.”
Resentment. It’s real. And it stops the ability to allow others in. What resentment do you need to let go of today?
(first published March 2018)