Today I invite you to do one thing outdoors to MOVE…take another walk around your block, sit under a tree, sit by running water. It matters!
For the past two days I have been feeling some frustration mount. I’ve had good intentions to weed, feed & file about it but I’ve let my regular day-to-day movements get in the way.
Finally this morning I made myself sit down and weed. And I learned two great things: one mounting frustration with a person is because I do the same thing to them! And the other was to slow down in my budding friendship with another person.
I’ve written the lessons (feeding and filing) and I’ve burned the weeding.
I invite you to complete a Weed, Feed & File™ today.
(first published March 2018)
There were times in my journey through depression that I felt resentment–towards God, towards mental illness, towards anyone that thought I could do something about it.
And then something shifted and I decided to drop the “victim” mentality and do something to move forward. I remember one day in particular when I was at the store. I was not in a happy place. I felt dark. I felt alone. I was mad. I remember how the cashier was friendly but I didn’t return it. Instead I briefly interacted and went on my way. It was months later when I began to pull out of the resentment that I realized something had shifted–I was different, I was showing up differently, and my interactions with store clerks were a lot more positive. That’s when I knew I was making progress!
My husband and I watched a powerful movie a couple of days ago. Breathe is the true story of the Cavendish couple from Britain who change the tide of how disabled and paralyzed people are treated and cared for. From his obituary: “He had a natural graciousness: his lack of evident resentment at his own condition made helping him a positive pleasure.”
Resentment. It’s real. And it stops the ability to allow others in. What resentment do you need to let go of today?
(first published March 2018)
I just read a GREAT explanation of what our brains are doing as we move through life. I want to highlight what the author explains about how we develop pathways that can lead to depression and anxiety. I love to help people create new neural pathways by providing tools, accountability, and follow through. It matters!
I did a really good job of numbing my vulnerability during my 12-year walk with depression. I didn’t share much of what was going on in my world of dark clouds and stormy weather. I can count on 3 fingers the number of people who really knew what was going on–and even they didn’t get the full story. I numbed by not talking, not sharing, not reaching out. That way I didn’t have to feel any more anger, frustration, and disappointment in myself.
Why wasn’t I vulnerable? I know the answer now–6 years after overcoming this monster. I didn’t want to seem incapable. I didn’t want to seem “less than.” I was sure I could figure it out myself, even if that meant to continue “hunkering down” and moving forward with life as best as I could. I was sure that depression was my challenge and how I interacted with it day in and day out was my “life test.”
I will never forget the day around year 11 that I had a new thought: “You need to tell your children what is going in your world.”
What?! Why did that matter? Be vulnerable? That’s scary. It meant our children might see me in a different light. It might mean I was weak. It might mean the depression would get even worse because I would be shining some light on it–in front of my children!
Brene Brown gives a very insightful understanding of the importance of being vulnerable. When we aren’t vulnerable, we can’t connect–with ourselves and with others. Through much research, she discovered that people who are not vulnerable do not believe they are worthy of love and belonging.
As I reflect on my journey, I realize that I too believed that somehow I wouldn’t be worthy of belonging if people knew what I was facing, what I was feeling. Wow! The VERY thing that would help me move into mental wellness was a thorn in my side.
I am really grateful I chose to be vulnerable and tell our children what was going in my head. It created a path to the joy, gratitude, and happiness I now feel every day.
Where can you be vulnerable today and create a path for YOUR joy, gratitude, and happiness?
(first published Feb 8, 2018)