Unlocking Depression

Keys to a brighter future

Blog

Counter-Attack the Poison From Depression and Anxiety

by Leave a Comment

It is the summer of 2011.  I have been battling the war for 11 years now.  I’ve been off antidepressants fairly regularly for two years as I try to get to the root of this.  I am on a really good vitamin supplement plan.  But the darkness still rears its ugly head off and on.  I wonder, really wonder, if I’m ever going to beat this.  There are times that are really hopeful.  Other times are far from hopeful as I battle the voices in my head.

Those voices keep telling me there is no other way; that this is just part of my mortal experience; that it could be so much worse–at least I get out of bed every day; that feeling so much sadness is just how it is…Some days I think I will go crazy if I have to fight this the rest of my life.

I did a lot of silent suffering.  As I’ve mentioned before, I didn’t open up to very many people.  It was a weakness.  And this weakness kept help from coming more quickly.  I can see that now.  I subconsciously believed that I needed to just trudge through the daily challenge on my own.  Somehow I believed that reaching out for help would make me less than who I wanted to be.  This one belief was poison.  Poison.

Depression and any other mental illness is laced with poison–poison that swirls around in the brain.  Locating that poison with a counter attack is vital.  The counter attack may sound too simple.  It may sound like there is no way it will make a difference.

I learned this counter attack in August 2011.  It came unexpectedly.  I was attending a class on personal development and the teacher taught the why and the how.  Something stirred inside me when I heard it.  I decided to begin trying it out.  After all, I certainly didn’t have anything to loose! What happened showed me that I had everything to gain because I decided to give it a try.

The counter attack is this:  write down every negative message you hear in your head. This is the poison.  Then counter it with its exact opposite.  When the thought pops into your head again, say its opposite again.  It may take a fair amount of time to reprogram your brain with the truth.  That’s okay.  Just keep at it!

I’ve written about this before.  I write about it again today because of a recent experience where a person shared with me how critical it was to her healing that she launch this counter attack.  Her therapist had recommended it to her.  It took time and tremendous effort but it enabled her to move into complete healing.  My personal experience with counter attacking also moved me into healing.

So, counter attack!  Remove the poison.  You’re worth it and it matters!
(original post April 2015)

Why I Kept Quiet–And How Finally Talking About My Depression Brought Freedom

by 1 Comment

Somewhere in my early belief system I gathered the idea that in order to be strong, I should carry whatever challenges I would have and keep them to myself.  I subconsciously believed that I could work out whatever those challenges would be by myself.  Somehow I thought that if I just persevered enough, endured enough, and was good enough that I would be okay…I would make it through.  After all, isn’t this life about being tested?  Subconsciously I believed that I didn’t need anyone else.  I had it figured out–by myself.

How wrong I was.  This early belief said that if I just worked hard enough or just acted a certain way, I would not feel the pain, the loneliness, and the deep dark ugly days of depression.  It literally put me on an island in a world filled with people but I was practically by myself.  Few knew the struggles I was having.  My husband knew and a couple of close friends.  For years, that is all who knew.

What I did not realize then was the immense power that would come with sharing my story, with sharing my pain, with sharing what depression looks and acts like.  Had I known, I think it would not have taken 12 years to get to the root of the monster.

My experience with depression proved that swallowing the real life struggle of turning into someone I knew I really was not actually caused deeper depression and eventually anxiety.

And so, why did I keep quiet?  Perhaps I was embarrassed and did not want to be labeled as “mentally ill.”  Perhaps it meant that I would be giving up control–because talking would mean that I had not conquered by myself.  Perhaps it was because I did not understand why bad things happen to good people.  Whatever the reason, I now know that sharing my story in the past 7 years has made a huge difference…for me and for others.  For some, it has given them permission to feel.  For some it has given them permission to be real.  For others it has and is validating their current experience with depression.

I invite you to share a part of your story to someone you trust.  If it seems there is no one like that right now for you, pretend there is someone and write them a letter.  Be candid and specific. Healing can only begin when a person is willing to come out of hiding and seek the support and resources offered by others.  It was this very principle that marked the beginning of the change in me and my experience, leading to freedom.

We need each other.  If not, God would have put us on our own islands!

It matters!

(originally posted Oct 2014)

Reclaiming Your Power To Create A Life Without Depression or Anxiety

by Leave a Comment

 

It is May 30, 2018 and my husband and I just sent the final check for the completion of our backyard creation! I have learned a ton about being a creator in the past several years. When I began the journey to figure out the depression I was deeply rooted in, I had no idea creation had anything to do with it.

Unknowingly, I was creating a perfect storm of patterns of belief from my life’s experiences and physical health challenges that I had no idea were going on. That perfect storm was raining down fear and withdrawal and emptiness as dark clouds of hopelessness encompassed me on a regular basis.

I will forever be grateful for the small desire to create a different reality that began to grow within me around year 10. I decided to harness the storm and reclaim my power which has led me to a life of freedom from depression and anxiety; I have created a life of abundance; I have learned to turn lemons into lemonade; and my mess has become my message!

All of this came to a culminating point in my experience this morning as we closed the chapter on our home and yard creation of 4 years. The final chapter in this creation began last fall…

I really wanted to have the final yard details completed this spring. I figured it would take a few thousand dollars to make it happen. I checked in with my Higher Power to see about the timing. I got the okay and so I put it on my vision board. I included words about my gratitude for the people and resources that would show up to help us finish the project. I also wrote “Awh! Hill completed! Garden Pathways done! Beauty! Estatic!” on the pictures of the completed yard. I put all of this in my 2018 story as well. I listened to it, I looked at it, I pondered it, and I paid attention to the next steps I should take. 

In February the idea came that I should begin contacting landscapers and get on the schedule. And so I began to make calls. One company told me flat out that it couldn’t be done with the budget I was proposing. But another company stuck with me. They suggested having their architect design a plan and then go from there. We agreed. When the plan came back, my husband and I were stunned! It was absolutely incredible! It was everything and more than I ever imagined!!

The next step was a giant leap of faith as we met with the contractor to get a bid. It was WAY over budget!! We could have stopped there. We could have said, “This doesn’t match up with our plan. Thanks anyway.” I’m pretty persistent though and so we began to whittle the plan down and make adjustments so we could move forward with it.

We reached a compromise after much negotiation…between us and the contractor and me and my husband. We still had to do some real “searching” to make sure we were willing to spend extra money that could have gone towards something else. I’ll never forget the day we needed to make the final decision. My husband and I seemed to be at an impasse…we took a break from it for awhile. And then I had the unmistakable knowledge that it was ok to move forward. Thankfully my husband trusted me with this and we gave the ok to the landscapers.

It took 3 weeks for the landscapers to work a miracle in our back yard. It was incredible to watch our back hill transform into a creation that surpassed my dreams! My husband and I literally thanked God every day for miracles of transformation and creation.

What does any of this have to do with depression and reclaiming your power? Everything!! I know beyond a doubt that had I not been persistent in uncovering the physical and emotional roots to the depression I battled, I would not have been in a state to create a beautiful home and yard with my husband. It would not have happened. My life would be so very, very different in every single area had I not decided to reclaim my power and figure the puzzle out.

The choice is yours. Beautifully yours. Reclaim your power. Contact me to support you in this process! Choose to reclaim your power and create a life without anxiety or depression:)

It matters!

Moving From Chaos to Order to Creation

by Leave a Comment

Chaos.  It’s something that marks living on this planet.  It’s all around us.  The question is whether or not we allow it to have the power or if we will exercise power over it.

This morning I am feeling chaos–overwhelm at the dozens of thoughts circling in my mind.  I can either wallow in this chaotic feeling or do something about it.

I’m choosing to move to order. I choose to make a list of everything that is in my head. That way I don’t have to remember it. The list remembers it.

Next I will watch and listen as the ability to accomplish everything on my list comes about, step by step.  And I will marvel that, once again, creation has occurred in my life!

Try it. Find one thing today that is chaotic to you. Maybe it’s swirling thoughts that need to be written down. Maybe it’s a pile of laundry that needs to be put away. Maybe it’s a conversation with someone that needs to happen. Maybe it’s a kitchen drawer that needs to be organized. Maybe it’s your car that could be cleaned out.

Choose one thing. Move from chaos to order to creation!

It works! It matters! You matter!

Save

Save

Gut Health’s Role with Depression

by Leave a Comment

I remember walking into my doctor’s office on that spring day in 2010 as if it was yesterday.  For a few months I had been thinking, “I wonder if there is a root cause to this depression that can be dealt with and overcome so I am not dependent on Prozac the rest of my life…I wonder.”  It was at this point that the first key to the solution of the battle with depression was handed to me.

I remember exactly where I was standing in my doctor’s office.  I was there to get routine blood work done on my thyroid.  I was in the hallway.  Dr. Johnson came out of a room and said hi to me.  I “casually” said, “I’ve been thinking about going off my anti-depressant and seeing what else I can do to get to the bottom of this depression.  If at the end of this searching, I need to stay on the medication, I will because the alternative is much worse.”

Dr. J said that he was just reading a book called “The UltraMind Solution” and that I might be very interested in the concepts.  He told me that he supported me looking into the possibilities of there being something that could actually bring about healing.  He told me he would work with me in tapering my medication while at the same time looking into possible allergens that could be visible through bloodwork.

I read the book and began a different vitamin regime–vitamins to strengthen the production of serotonin and the hormone balances of my body.  According to Dr. Hyman in The UltraMind Solution, “Being vitamin-deficient produces toxic molecules that inflame the brain and cause depression.”  Finding the right vitamins is very important.

Dr. J ran extensive tests related to possible allergens.  I learned that I was developing a possible sensitivity to gluten, dairy, and sugar.  Dr. J suggested I reduce my intake of all of these things for a time.  I decided I would.  I eat a regular diet of fresh food–veggies and fruits, I cook from scratch, I don’t drink soda, I rarely eat fast food…so I wondered how difficult this was really going to be–and I wondered if it really would make a difference.

For three months I eliminated about 80% of the gluten, dairy, and sugar in my diet.  It was a lot more difficult than I thought!  But I did it.  I lost about 15 pounds which really surprised me and my gut stopped “rolling around.”  I had not even realized that it was “acting up.”  That was just normal to me!  I began to feel a lot better.  I also walked for an hour several times a week.  I was on a great vitamin regime.  Things were hopeful.

It was a start.  It wasn’t the final answer but it was an extremely important first step.  For now, my intention is to invite you, the reader, to consider what you perhaps have not considered:  gut health linking to mind health.  There is a connection.

The Gut Brain Axis Science

Food for thought:  Many people know you can change your environment to reduce toxins by eating organic food; filtering your water; avoiding mercury-containing fish, vaccines, dental fillings, and more.  But most people don’t think you can change your genes.  

Well, you can.

You can’t trade your genes in for new ones (well, at least not yet), but you can change how those genes function.  You can change how they work, which ones are turned on or off, and how they control your biochemistry and physiology…so if you are born with genes that predispose you to certain problems, you can work around them, help them do a better job, and prevent disease or health problems.  You can boost your ability to detoxify by turning on the right genes and turning off the wrong ones.  You can help by giving them everything they need to do a good job, such as the right vitamins and minerals and phytonutrients…”     Mark Hyman, M.D.

(first published Dec 8, 2014)

image by globalhealingcenter.com