If your life experiences are kept in file folders, what do those folders look like?
There is no getting out of it–every person on this planet gets to experience ups and downs. Knowing what to do during the “down” times is the difference between life and death–literally, for many people.
The brain is fascinating! When we have a challenging experience it tries to convince us that we are less valuable as a result. For some reason, it thinks that a challenge means we are “less than” or “not good enough.” And the subconscious part of our brain grabs these beliefs and files it away as evidence that we do not have value. Some people have so much of this swimming around inside of them that they want to take themselves off the planet.
Well, there is good news! We can literally close the files in our brain so that the negativity we experienced when someone bullied us at school…or we got made fun of as a child…or we got embarrassed when we did something wrong at work…ceases to influence every aspect of our lives. We remember the event but the negativity surrounding it is gone. This is when we know the file has closed.
Some people I work with wonder about remembering stuff that happened long ago…they don’t want to bring up all the old feelings. I get it. I ask, “What is it really costing you to not close the file, once and for all?”
I have been doing this for 7 years now. My capacity to create has increased a hundredfold. When I used to “keep my files open,” it was costing me creative power. What is it costing you?
I invite you to take the weed and feed technique I shared early on in my journey and make the FEED part this:
Write down 2-3 things that you realize from the writing (weeding). An example could be that you realize you are still really upset about something that happened; or you might realize that what you initially thought was making you upset was really something else. Take these thoughts and create a declaration about how you want to show up when you think about challenge in the future. For example: I am calm and peaceful as I hold my power in my interactions with others. (IF abuse, adultery, or addiction are challenges you face, this tool requires a more in-depth starting place.)
This closes the chapter, the file. All of the sudden the mind then says, “Oh. I got this. I learned something from this challenge and therefore I have value.” And value is the first step towards creating–a life with complete mental wellness, a new job, a new home, new relationships, improved relationships…what do YOU want to create?!